Over the years as a bereavement counsellor in Farnham and online, I have worked with a number of parents who are battling with the pain of losing a child. Life is never quite the same after maternity loss, whether it’s during or after pregnancy, and it is normal to feel like you have lost a part of yourself forever. Dealing with something so monumental obviously takes time, but there is, I can assure you, life after the death of a child.

To help you during this difficult period, this blog post walks you through three things that I have seen to be helpful when working with clients to process maternity loss.

Have a Routine

This may seem like an obvious one, but establishing a routine is so important, and harder to do than you think. You might stop eating, or stop eating well, or no longer exercise. Perhaps you start to neglect everyday responsibilities. Not completing these tasks only makes your life more hectic and overwhelming, so establishing a good routine that you stick to is particularly crucial. It will act as an important psychological anchor. Even something small, like taking a walk every day or making sure you eat breakfast, can make a useful difference.

Accept That Your Relationship Will Change

Parents need to accept that their dynamic will inevitably change after the death of a child. Perhaps you will grow apart over time. Couples sometimes do decide to move on after such a life-changing event because the feelings and memories evinced by that partner can be too painful. Ending the relationship is, for some, the best way to move past the death of a child.

On the flipside, however, this experience creates a bond between the two people that cannot be replicated anywhere else. Only you and your partner know how that pain feels, and as a result having them close to you might feel even more important than before.

Reach Out

In such a dark time, you have to remember that you aren’t alone. Friends and family are always an option, of course, but there are also people out there who have suffered a similar experience, and speaking to them about your feelings can be particularly helpful. There may be people there further down the road of grief after a maternity loss who can offer valuable advice on how to deal with these challenging times. Either way, the thing to remember is that keeping these feelings all to yourself is never healthy or productive.

If you have recently suffered a maternity loss and would like a confidential, supportive place to speak about your emotions in any way you like, I am here to provide you with personalised bereavement counselling in Farnham or online. Don’t hesitate to get in touch to set up an initial consultation at a time that suits you.