Have you ever had a blazing row with your partner and immediately reached for your phone to text your best friend? Or felt so frustrated that you were tempted to post a cryptic status update on social media? If you're nodding along then you're definitely not alone.

As a counsellor in Surrey and Hampshire, I've seen how complicated this question can be. On one hand we all need support when we're struggling. On the other hand sharing too much about our relationship problems can sometimes create more issues than it solves.

There's nothing wrong with needing to talk things through with someone you trust. Sometimes we need perspective, validation or just someone to listen while we process our feelings. A trusted friend can help us see things more clearly and remind us that we're not alone.

But here's where it gets tricky. When we share our frustrations with friends and family they naturally want to protect us. They’ve got our best interests at heart and they hear about the argument but they don't see the resolution. They remember the hurtful thing your partner said even after you've both moved on. Over time this can create a situation where the people closest to you have a rather one-sided view of your relationship.

And social media? That's a whole different minefield. Those vague posts might feel satisfying in the moment but they can damage trust and invite unwanted opinions from people who don't know the full story.

So what's the answer? It's about finding balance. Before you reach out to others ask yourself: have I actually talked to my partner about this? Sometimes we're so quick to share with everyone else that we forget to communicate with the person who actually needs to hear it.

When you do need support choose wisely. Talk to someone who can listen without judgement, who won't hold grudges on your behalf and who respects both you and your relationship. And remember, some things are best kept private between you and your partner.

If you're finding it difficult to talk to your partner directly, or if you need support beyond what friends can offer then that's where professional counselling can help. A counsellor provides a safe, confidential space where you can explore your feelings without worrying about judgement or gossip.

Ready to work through your relationship challenges in a safe, supportive environment? Reach out to Imogen Ellis Jones Counselling. Sometimes the best person to talk to is someone who's truly neutral and there just for you.