Have you ever had that feeling that something isn't quite right in your relationship but you can't put your finger on what's wrong? A little similar to when your car makes a strange noise – you know something's not right but you're not sure if it's serious or if you're just being paranoid.

As a counsellor in Surrey and Hampshire I've seen countless couples who wished they'd paid attention to those early warning signals before their relationship hit crisis point. The truth is our relationships often try to tell us when they need attention long before major problems develop.

So what should you be looking out for?

One of the earliest signs is a shift in how you communicate. Are your conversations becoming more superficial? Do you find yourselves sticking to safe topics like schedules and household matters but avoiding anything deeper? This gradual emotional disconnection is like a slow puncture in your relationship's tyre – barely noticeable at first until suddenly you're running on flat.

Another warning signal is when irritation becomes the dominant emotion. If you're finding everything your partner does annoying – the way they chew, how they load the dishwasher, their little habits that once seemed endearing – this often indicates unresolved feelings bubbling beneath the surface.

Pay attention, too, if you're no longer sharing the small moments of your day. Those little updates – funny stories from work, random thoughts, small victories – are the threads that keep you connected. When they disappear the fabric of your relationship starts to fray.
Changes in your physical relationship can also signal trouble. This isn't just about frequency – it's about quality, connection and whether there's a growing hesitancy where there used to be ease.

Perhaps most telling is when you start living parallel lives – functioning well as housemates but not truly engaging as partners. You might be efficient in managing your shared life but the emotional intimacy that makes a relationship special begins to fade.

If you're noticing these signs, don't panic. Recognising them is actually the first step toward positive change. Try creating space for honest conversation without blame or criticism. Remember to truly listen to each other, wait until each of you has finished talking rather than butting in with your need to speak.

Sometimes, addressing these warning signals feels too difficult to manage alone and that's completely normal. At Imogen Ellis-Jones Counselling, I provide a safe, supportive environment to help you navigate these challenges together before a small issue becomes a relationship crisis.

Because sometimes, paying attention to the warning signals isn't just about preventing breakdown – it's about creating an opportunity for your relationship to grow stronger than ever.

If you're seeing some of these warning signs in your own relationship and would like some support in addressing them, I'm here to help. Reach out for a confidential chat about how counselling might help you reconnect and rebuild. Together, we can work on transforming those warning signals into stepping stones toward a more fulfilling partnership.