Have you ever found yourself checking your phone repeatedly, wondering why your partner hasn't texted back? Or lying awake at night, replaying conversations and worrying about what they 'really' meant? If this sounds familiar, you might be experiencing relationship anxiety.
As a counsellor specialising in anxiety in Surrey and Hampshire, I've supported many people who struggle with these overwhelming feelings. The good news? You're not alone, and there are ways to manage these challenging emotions.
What Does Relationship Anxiety Feel Like?
It's like having a constant commentator in your head, questioning everything. You might find yourself:
- Constantly seeking reassurance about your partner's feelings
- Overthinking every text, call, or interaction
- Worrying they'll leave you, even when things are going well
- Feeling sick to your stomach when they're not responding
- Double (or triple) checking their social media activity
Why Do We Experience It?
Relationship anxiety often stems from past experiences - perhaps previous relationships that ended painfully, childhood experiences, or deep-seated fears about not being 'enough'. It's like carrying an emotional backpack full of past hurts that colour how we see our current relationship.
The Impact on Your Relationship
Here's the difficult part - relationship anxiety can create a self-fulfilling prophecy. When we're constantly on edge, looking for signs something's wrong, we might actually create the problems we're afraid of. It's like wearing dark sunglasses and then wondering why everything looks gloomy.
Breaking Free from Anxiety's Grip
The first step is recognising that anxiety is not reality - it's a filter through which you're viewing your relationship. Try these strategies:
- Practice self-awareness: Notice when anxiety is speaking and learn to distinguish it from reality
- Share your feelings with your partner: Let them understand what you're experiencing
- Ground yourself in the present moment: When anxiety spirals, focus on what's actually happening right now
- Challenge your thoughts: Ask yourself, "What evidence do I have for this worry?"
When to Seek Support
If you're finding that relationship anxiety is affecting your daily life, your happiness, or your ability to maintain healthy relationships, it might be time to seek professional support. There's no shame in reaching out - in fact, it's a sign of strength.
Through counselling, we can work together to understand the root causes of your anxiety, develop coping strategies, and help you build more secure and fulfilling relationships. We'll explore how to manage these feelings while maintaining authentic connections with others.
Remember, experiencing relationship anxiety doesn't mean there's something wrong with you or your relationship. It's a common challenge that many people face, and with the right support and tools, you can learn to manage it effectively.
Ready to take the first step towards a calmer, more confident approach to relationships? Reach out to Imogen Ellis Jones Counselling today. Together, we can work on building the secure, peaceful relationship you deserve.